A Dose of Heartache

Since the day you turned down my favor of bringing my JC here in Singapore. I have felt bad and that you really down like me somehow. I don't know what is with JC that triggered me to be mad at you. Am I that addicted to JC that I can afford be mad at you? I even spent time with JC in my birthday than having you in my party. For a month I never bothered to talked to you because I know you are still searching for your luck here. I followed my friends not to communicate with you and it was a success. Not until our common friend called me that you would like to meet her and me with our college friends. I was A for Amazed that somehow you would like to met me. B for Bullshit I don't want to see you! C for Care to Contact me? why thru our friend? You have all the connections to me.... Facebook and YM... haller! maybe you just chose the "call a friend" life line... But anyways... I asked my dear friends if should I go or not? J replied to me "kung saan ka masaya supportaan tika" then D replied "naa ra nimo if gusto ka ug sakit sa dughan" ... just let faith decide for me that it is time to meet him... and I just combined friend's advise that "happy man cguro masakitan" :( I guess I'm D for Danghag for spending with time than with my friends. :( Sorry guys...

So there... while waiting for my friend in the train station, my heart starts to beat fast... as if it giving me a warning "train is coming! train is coming!" wishing I'm confident enough to face him. But I can't... physically and emotionally looks like I'm so wasted... just wishing JC was there to make me high. He called that they're on their way to fetch us in the station... then I saw him, at first I am not able to see him straight to his eyes. As if he has these burning stares that would knocking me down anytime. I pretend to be calm but deep inside a rush of longing and anytime I can hug him tight that I don't want him to let go. The madness has vanished into a bubbles. While walking to a store he just asked me about my job and that was the only conversation we had for that night. The place was so awesome that I even dreamed of walking around with him holding hands and be with him in that peaceful place of Chinese Garden. Then night has ended without any good signs that I could see him again. But Singapore is just too small for us, someday we will cross our path as I looked at him sitting and sleeping across the train seats. Thinking what he was thinking at the time. Till it's my time to alight and my sweet goodbye was "ayaw ka tulog hap maabot ka sa Simie"... how sweet noh?! If only he knew how much I missed him.

Then my night has ended, A feeling that I tried to kept but keeps on coming back at me. How these feeling be mended with a dose of heartache over and over again?